Love in the Weirdest Places
by xxyaoiluvverxx
Summary: Naruto and the gang are determined to get Neji laid- even if Neji isn't sure he wants to be. Highschool AU NejiXTenten rated M for language and possible lemons
1. Chapter 1

Neji had no idea why anyone would ever waste their time with relationships

Hey guys!

Don't be too critical, this is my first fanfic

I don't own Naruto- but I wish I did (damn, don't we all?)

Neji had no idea why anyone would ever waste their time with relationships. Girls were attractive- that is to say, he _did _have hormones like every other guy- but their personalities left much to be desired. Most of them were nothing but giggling fangirls who couldn't answer the simplest question. He wasn't gay, either, as was popular belief. He didn't have a problem with homosexuality, but the only dick he cared to get close to was his _own._

He mulled this over while sitting, alone, on a couch in Naruto's apartment during the party of the century. Naruto stumbled out of the writhing mass of bodies and fell on the sofa, throwing an arm around Neji's shoulders. He was shirtless and sweaty, and Neji scooted out from under it.

"NEJI! IT'S A PARTY, FOR FUCK'S SAKE! GET YOUR ASS UP!"

Neji sighed, expecting something like this.

"Naruto. I'm right next to you." For some reason Naruto found this hysterical, bursting into laughter and slapping Neji's back. He slowly calmed down, wiping tears from his eyes.

"You would think for once the Great Hyuuga would lighten up and have some fun but _nooo_, the Hyuuga's _never_ have fun. I doubt you even know the _meaning_ of the word 'Fun'!" A very tipsy Kiba leaned on the back of the couch, nodding in agreeance with Naruto.

"Naruto's right," he stated, "and I know just the thing! Neji, m'boy, you need to get _laid._"

A circle of listeners seemed to appear around the couch, "hm"ing and "yeah"ing their approval.

Sasuke stepped forward, sliding into Naruto's lap and placing a sloppy kiss on his cheek. "I know some available guys," he mused. "Your ass is sore the first few times, but it's totally worth it."

Neji mentally gagged at this statement, trying to get that horrible picture out of his head. Sasuke and Naruto had been together for a few months now, and most of their high school was now used to it. However, everyone once in a while they would get threatening letters or rocks through their window, proving the unfortunate existence of homophobes.

All eyes were on Neji, waiting for his reply. He crossed his arms coldly.

"You're all drunk."

"I AM NOT DRUNK!" several teenagers shrieked in unison, obviously drunk.

"I believe you," Neji muttered unconvincingly. "Where are Iruka and Kakashi, anyway? Weren't they supposed to be supervising?"

Naruto grinned evilly. "Actually, they went to Iruka's bedroom a couple hours ago. Apparently they had… business to attend to."

"Speaking of bedrooms…" Sasuke murmured huskily, nibbling on Naruto's ear. The rest of the crowd sweatdropped simultaneously, muttering lame excuses and scooting away.

"Would you look at the time!" said Kiba a little too loudly, glancing at a nonexistent watch. The girls, who had been dancing the whole time, oblivious, now hurried to catch up with their boyfriends who were racing for the door. Neji was one of the last people there. He glanced around at the mess; there was food and other unidentifiable crap strewn everywhere, and he was tempted to stay and help clean up. However, the low moans coming from the open door to Naruto's room were discouraging, and he grabbed his coat and headed out.

As Neji lay in his own bedroom that night, Naruto's words kept running through his head. It was hard to believe, but maybe Naruto had actually said something _smart_ for once. He couldn't remember the last time he had done something that could be considered _fun. _Instead, he spent his time working out and focusing on schoolwork, unlike most of the teenage boys he knew.

He thought back to his musings from the party. Surely, not _all_ of the girls at Konoha High were bimbos- there had to be at least one he admired enough to make a move on. Sakura was a smart girl, but she was happily taken by Lee. Hinata, although already his cousin, was in a relationship with Haku- a sweet, soft spoken, distinctly feminine exchange student. And then there was Temari- but her brothers were creepy, rumored drug dealers, and Neji didn't want to get involved in that.

He sighed mentally, turning over onto his side. There had to be _someone_ he was missing, he just couldn't figure out whom. _Oh well_, he thought, feeling his eyes drift shut. _Maybe I'm destined to be single anyways..._

Ok—well that was more like an introduction, sorry about how short it is. More action in the next chapter! R&R!


	2. Chapter 2

Hey guys! Im updating pretty fast because i was home sick today and had nothing to do.

thanks for all the awesome reviews!! You guys really make me want 2 write faster!

I STILL don't own Naruto

Chapter 2

Something hit Neji very hard on the back of the head. _What the…?_

"NEJI! GET THE FUCK UP!!" Screamed Naruto, straddling Neji's waist and maniacally crashing a vase into his head.

Neji sat up suddenly, sending Naruto over the side of the bed. He blinked the sleep from his eyes, breathing heavily, and looked around at the apparently empty room. _It was a dream. _Please _say it was just a dream_…

"The springtime of our youth should not be wasted in mere sleep!" Cried Lee, popping in the open door with a tray. "So I have cooked you a delicious, youthful breakfast to revive your senses!" Oh, god. Not a dream then.

"H-how did you get in here?"

The toilet flushed, and Kiba walked out of the bathroom. "The window was open, smartass."

Neji began to get a sinking feeling in his stomach. "Tell me there aren't _more_ of you…"

Sasuke appeared out of the closet, smirking nonchalantly. "Don't get your panties in a twist. We only brought five or six…" He inspected his nails "or seven…" He scratched the back of his neck. "Or ten."

Neji's eyes widened and he flew out of bed, attempting to push Lee back out the door. "OUT! I do not need this right now! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!"

"Apartment," corrected Shikamaru lazily, stepping out from behind the bookcase. Neji whipped around, and Lee took advantage of the reprieve to shove a spoonful of who-knows-what into his mouth. He immediately spit it onto the carpet.

"EW! Lee, what the hell did you put _in _that?!"

Lee smiled brightly. "Do not fret, young Hyuuga! Your kitchen was most empty so I created a delightful concoction of spaghetti, oatmeal, canned soup, strawberries, and protein powder! I figure with the fiber of the"- Neji punched him, cutting off his rant.

"You idiot! Those strawberries were from last September! I can't believe you would barge into my kitchen and then…" He trailed off, realizing how many people were now watching him explode.

"I think you should calm down, un" advised Deidara after a moment of awkward silence.

"We won't harm you." Haku added quietly. Neji nodded slowly, blushing. _Did I _have_ to make a total idiot of myself in front of my friends? I need to control myself!_

"Why are you all here in the first place?"

"Well…" said Naruto mischievously. "You remember last night, when Kiba said that you needed to get laid? We decided to take that into our own hands."

Neji's palms began to sweat. _Oh no. Oh, god, no. _

Half an hour later he sat in the middle of his bedroom, tied to a chair.

"You see, un," lectured Deidara, brushing Neji's hair, "The hair is very important. It frames the focal point of beauty; the face. However, you can't use your hair to cover up your flaws, only enhance your perfections. I myself use TRESemme hair products, based on the…" He rambled on, ignoring Neji's twitching eye.

Meanwhile, Gaara had Kiba up against the wall, threatening to murder his family if he ever called eyeliner gay again, and Sasuke was going through his closet.

"Neji, Neji, Neji," he chuckled, "what have we here?" He pulled out a pair of tight leather pants, and Neji mentally groaned. _They weren't supposed to see those… _

"I guess our little Neji isn't as innocent as we thought he was!" Sasuke dug a little deeper, and presented a pair of ripped up skinny jeans and a fishnet shirt. Neji closed his eyes, not even wanting to know what else he would find. _This is just gonna get worse and worse, isn't it?_

"Whoa, Neji." Choji said through a mouthful of chips. "How come you don't wear this stuff to school?"

"I just don't," Neji answered angrily, and then realized he sounded like a pouty little kid.

"Well," Naruto said with a grin that sent shivers up Neji's spine. "You do now."

Neji couldn't believe he had let his friends talk him into this. For god's sake, he was wearing _makeup. _He, Neji Hyuuga, the straight, masculine seventeen year old, was wearing _makeup._ Something was wrong with this picture.

"Come on," Naruto said soothingly, "Lots of guys wear it. It's only eyeliner."

"Which is totally and completely not gay in any way," added Kiba hastily, glancing at Gaara.

They were walking to school, and so far Neji had received many odd glances. People whispered when he walked by, and they all said the same thing: "Who the hell is he?" He had ended up wearing the jeans and the fishnet top under a black sleeveless shirt (though not by his own free will), and with the eyeliner, he looked, well, sexy. Very sexy.

He was relieved when they finally got to school. Their school had an odd program that split the students into groups of three for the whole year. It was supposed to "encourage cooperation and help students learn to respect their differences", but really it only isolated you from the students that weren't in your group. This meant that he wouldn't be seeing any of them for the rest of the day- Not Naruto, Sasuke, Kiba, or any of those assholes who had whistled to him on the street. Score for Neji.

He said goodbye to his friends, a little quicker than usual, and hurried to the corner of the courtyard where his group usually met. Tenten was already there, waiting for him. That was normal- Lee and their teacher, Gai, would make an overdramatic entrance any minute now.

"Hello, Tenten." Neji dropped his bag ground, sitting down and closing his eyes to wait. When Tenten didn't reply, he was a little worried. She was a close friend, as Neji's friends go, and normally very friendly.

"Is everything alright?" He opened his eyes to find her staring at him, twitching. He waved a hand in front of her eyes. "Tenten?"

"Y-you… you…" she managed to stutter out. "You're looking a l-little… Uh… _different_ today…" Neji felt himself blush. _Damn, why am I doing that so much lately?_

"Well, yeah, I, uh, you see, the guys- Naruto, Sasuke, yeah, them, well, they, uh, they came over because they, well you see, they, they wanted to, um, help me, I mean, make, it wasn't, I couldn't…"

Tenten giggled. _Aw, he's embarrassed! How cute. I mean, cute doesn't normally describe Neji but look at him today! Wow. _"Um… Neji?"

He looked up from his embarrassed ramblings. "Yeah?"

"Is that… _eyeliner? _Isn't that a little g"-

"NO IT IS NOT GAY LOTS OF GUYS WEAR EYELINER WHY SHOULD GIRLS BE ABLE TO WEAR MAKEUP AND NOT GUYS THAT IS SO SEXIST I"-

Neji tripped over his bag and went sprawling into Tenten, knocking them both down. His face was an inch from hers, and all of the sudden he thought back to the list of girls from last night. _Sakura, Hinata, Temari… Tenten! _This close, her could feel her breasts pressed up against his chest. Tenten was a _girl. _This whole year, that fact had never quite occurred him. Tenten his friend, Tenten his classmate, Tenten the teenager like Neji- but never Tenten the cute girl. And she _was_ cute- very cute. He could see how smooth her skin was, how dark and pretty her eyes were. Neji was so close he could feel her warm breath on his face. Their lips were right next to each other, almost touching, if he could only lean forward the tiniest bit…

"Uh, Neji?"

"Yes, Tenten?" He closed his eyes. He was ready for this.

"You're kinda squashin' me here."

"Oh." He felt his face heat up, and he scrambled off of her. He turned around and pretended to dust off his clothes, attempting to hide his embarrassment.

Tenten gave his back an odd look. _I swear, _she thought, _this guy goes through more mood swings that Ino when she's pmsing. _

Right then, Gai and Lee sailed out from behind a tree and struck dramatic poses.

"No need to fear!" They cried in unison. "For I, Gai, the most attractive, youthful teacher in all of Konoha," "And I, Rock Lee, Konoha's most devilishly handsome student," They turned to face Neji and Tenten, "Are HERE!"

Of course, Neji was facing the opposite direction, blushing like a lobster, and Tenten was staring at Neji wondering what his problem was. In fact, they were the only two people _not_ staring at Gai and Lee. Lee scratched his head.

"Did I miss something?"

This chapter was longer that the first, but still not 2 long- i'm srry! plz don't hurt me!

i promise they will get longer as the story progresses

R&R!


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